Week 13 marks the final week of the regular season for a lot of fantasy football leagues out there. For those of you that play, you know how much of an awful/awesome/intense/painful/fun/embarrassing game it can be. One of my teams has the most total points scored in the league by 130, but I am a mediocre 6-6 and still battling for a playoff spot. Luckily, my chances are looking good at this point. But what about you? In this special fantasy edition of Pulse 120’s Weekly Rundown, you’ll get some of my very own advice on who to start and who to sit for each matchup this weekend. But first things first, a little poem:
An Ode to Fantasy Football
Oh Fantasy Football, how I love thee,
My wideouts two and my runningbacks three.
I study all summer ’til draft day doth come
To pick all the studs to whom rivals succumb.
I battle and battle in imaginary trenches
And cry when my teams are outscored by their benches.
From win to loss to loss to win,
I pay too much attention. It’s almost a sin.
Hooray! Hooray! My QB scored 30!
Beware. Beware. Mustn’t celebrate too early.
It appears as though he played my defense,
And they scored me points in a negative sense.
Week six, my team got the second most points!
The other guy got more. That’s a kick in the groin.
I would have beaten literally all other teams,
But the Fantasy Gods have again crushed my dreams.
Fantasy Football, how awful you can be.
The real ‘Skins lost, too. I almost can’t breathe.
The work week drags on when you enter a loser,
But each week brings a new challenge. Look to the future.
Yikes! This week I only scored 70,
But my opponent got 40, so 70 is plenty.
My score was lower than all teams but his,
Oh Fantasy Gods, you made it better than it is.
Fantasy Football, how great you can be.
And we upset the Cowboys! I’m chock full of glee!
Tuesday through Friday flies faster than light
When you live as the winner of a fantasy fight.
The playoffs draw nigh, and I’m in a pickle.
My season’s been weird, my team’s been so fickle.
One more win, just one more win.
Oh Fantasy Gods, please grant it herein.
I promise, I promise I’ll never quit you,
Oh Fantasy Football, I’ll always be true.
I’ll threaten to leave when I finish a loser,
but we both know I’m too addicted a user.
Chicago Bears (5-6) at Detroit Lions (7-4)
Predicted: 24-14 Lions
Philadelphia Eagles (8-3) at Dallas Cowboys (8-3)
Predicted: 31-27 Cowboys
Seattle Seahawks (7-4) at San Francisco 49ers (7-4)
Predicted: 17-10 Seahawks
Cleveland Browns (7-4) at Buffalo Bills (6-5)
Prediction: 27-20 Cleveland
Start: Josh Gordon, Isaiah Crowell, Fred Jackson, Robert Woods
Sit: Sammy Watkins
Prediction: 24-13 Ravens
Start: Justin Forsett, Torrey Smith, Keenan Allen, Antonio Gates
Sit: Steve Smith, Ryan Mathews
Carolina Panthers (3-6-1) at Minnesota Vikings (4-6)
Prediction: 20-10 Vikings
Start: Greg Olsen, Kelvin Benjamin, Vikings D/ST
Sit: Any Carolina runningback
Prediction: 31-14 Bengals
Start: A.J. Green, Jeremy Hill, Giovani Bernard, Mike Evans
Sit: Doug Martin, Vincent Jackson, Mohamed Sanu
Tennessee Titans (2-9) at Houston Texans (5-6)
Prediction: 28-14 Texans
Start: Arian Foster, DeAndre Hopkins, Delanie Walker, Texans D/ST
Sit: Andre Johnson, everyone on the Titans not named Delanie Walker
Prediction: 34-21 Colts
Start: Andrew Luck, T.Y. Hilton, Boom Herron, Alfred Morris, DeSean Jackson
Sit: Pierre Garcon, Coby Fleener, Reggie Wayne
New York Giants (3-8) at Jacksonville Jaguars (1-10)
Prediction: 21-14 Giants
Start: Eli Manning, Odell Beckham Jr., Rashad Jennings, Denard Robinson
Sit: Cecil Shorts III, Larry Donnell
Prediction: 28-17 Steelers
Start: Ben Roethlisberger, Drew Brees, Antonio Brown, Kenny Stills, Le’Veon Bell, Jimmy Graham
Sit: Marques Colston, Mark Ingram
Oakland Raiders (1-10) at St. Louis Rams (4-7)
Prediction: 24-13 Rams
Start: Tre Mason
Sit: Everyone else
Arizona Cardinals (9-2) at Atlanta Falcons (4-7)
Prediction: 27-17 Cardinals
Start:Andre Ellington, John Brown, Julio Jones, Cardinals D/ST
Sit: Matt Ryan, Steven Jackson, Michael Floyd
New England Patriots (9-2) at Green Bay Packers – Pulse 120’s Non-Primetime Game of the Week
Prediction: 31-27 Packers
Start: Aaron Rodgers, Eddie Lacy, Randall Cobb, Jordy Nelson, Tom Brady, Rob Gronkowski, Brandon LaFell, whatever New England runningback gets the bulk of the work <– You’ll never know ahead of time
Sit: Both D/STs, Julian Edelman
Denver Broncos (8-3) at Kansas City Chiefs (7-4)
Prediction: 31-28 Chiefs
Start: Peyton Manning (duh), Demaryius Thomas, Emmanuel Sanders, C.J. Anderson, Alex Smith, Jamaal Charles, Travis Kelce
Sit: Julius Thomas, Dwayne Bowe, Chiefs D/ST
Prediction: 27-7 Dolphins
Start: Ryan Tannehill, Mike Wallace, Jarvis Landry, Dolphins D/ST
Sit: Lamar Miller, Chris Ivory, all other Jets